2016: BE WILLING TO SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY

Hey everybody! Happy New Year! I hope everyone is having a great holiday season. However, I know for some of you the end of 2015 couldn’t have come any quicker. There’s been grief and there’s been on-going fears that have left many drained and lacking clarity. I wish every year could be the honeymoon year, but that’s not the case. If things were always perfect, we’d have nothing to learn. Change is the one constant and undeniable truth in this world. In 2016, have the courage to learn to move with that change and be that change. Learn to love yourself through the struggle. Have compassion for yourself in the struggle, and allow this ever-constant state of change to flow through you. If we aren’t moving and adapting with the flow of life – we’re in a stagnant, stale pond collecting moss. If you are burdened with your old patterns of belief about a past hurt, ask yourself – how does this road I am walking continue to serve me in my life today? Who am I without these limiting thoughts? Choose a new street to walk down – you have that choice…always. I really want to emphasize the importance of being willing to see things differently in 2016. Be willing to walk down a different street free from judgement, guilt, shame and any other fear based emotions you’ve carried. Be willing to learn what your struggles and suffering has to teach you. The change you seek in your life starts with you. Change can’t occur without your active willingness. You have the courage within you to get brutally honest with yourself. Why not this year for a change, ignore the illusory demands of the ego and step into your own personal power. What lies on the other side of suffering is the freedom you’ve been desiring. […]

CREATING A PATH TO HEALING

It takes courage to crack open a story from the past that you know in the pit of your stomach doesn’t serve you. The fear of what it may reveal is confronting. And that’s the beauty of truth – there’s nowhere to hide. The admission of illusions that you have carried with you can make you smirk in acknowledgment, cry like a baby, shout with anger or shudder in embarrassment (btw – there is nothing to be embarrassed about). Cracking open the story is a huge step towards greater self-love and healing of an old wound. The time then comes to rearrange those subconscious beliefs, create new neural pathways and witness a new way of being – a return to balance. As world renowned healer, Caroline Myss, Ph.D would say – “Energy is power and transmitting energy into the past by dwelling on painful events drains power from your present day body and can lead to illness”. Personal growth requires tremendous change. And change is scary for most people because it demands new thoughts. All thoughts enter our system as energy and produce biological responses that are stored in our cellular memory. When we adopt change and implement new thoughts that carry new emotional, mental, psychological and spiritual energy – we may feel exhausted because it feels like we are living in two worlds – our old way of being and new way of being. […]

DISCOVERING YOUR ESSENCE IN LOSS

I always associated my identity with my physical form. I think this is the case for most people, with the exception of the consciously evolved. Going through a loss I had major difficulty forming or reforming my physical identity. I was uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt awkward especially in any social atmosphere. This physical identity of mine had taken a beating. I could no longer take refuge in this safe place. And this is what can happen when you experience a heavy loss. You may feel a melting of identity and take refuge in other areas, such as the mind. But it can also lead to the realization of your inner-being – the essence of who you are. Once I made that discovery, there was no going back. In some respects it was like hearing the news that your whole life to date had been a lie. The physical foundations of my world crumbled in an instant, like an earthquake causing the solid footing beneath my feet to crack wide open. I had nowhere else to look except up to the heaven’s for help, metaphorically speaking. Literally speaking, the heaven within me – my essence identity is what rose up within me. […]

Are You Falling in Love With Your Own Suffering?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I3633WGyEY

5 WAYS SUICIDE CHANGED ME AS A MAN

Suicide has impacted my life and changed me as a man. I like to think of these changes as ultimately positive and significant learning experiences along my own journey. At the same time, it’s hard to ignore the lion’s den suicide loss put my family and myself through. Some days I like to revisit the mental images of the past when we were all kids. Life was simple and fun. The sun was always shining. Everything to me was perfect. Death and the kind of death suicide is was as unheard of as another Earth in our solar system and as distant as Pluto.   I don’t like to revel in the past too much, but looking back to childhood and where I am now and where we are as a family since my brother’s death – change is the one constant. For better or worse – life keeps moving. For those that have suffered suicide loss – change is deep, change is scary, change brings about resistance, change isn’t always welcomed, change shifts dynamics and change invites the truth.   I don’t know what my life would look like if my brother was still alive. His death changed everything. For years I would silently curse his name and feel the ever-constant surges of anger pulse in my veins. That was when I couldn’t accept change. That was when I didn’t want to change.   This stuff changes you. I don’t mean it changes the essence of who you are.  But I mean it exposes and unlocks other parts of you that you’ve buried, that you haven’t explored, that you haven’t opened up to or discovered yet. I believe the invitation is there for greater self-discovery, but I understand not everyone wants that. We cling to the past. The past seems safer than today and tomorrow. In the past we could have saved that life we lost…or so we keep telling ourselves on rewind. […]

Movember Radio – Continuing The Conversation

This week marks National Suicide Prevention Week and to coincide with this very important 7 days, I joined Movember Radio to discuss suicide survival and prevention. Click on the link here to listen - https://soundcloud.com/movemberradio/ep-17-marshall-dunn    

13 Lessons 13 Years After My Brother’s Suicide

November 2002 was a month after my brother, Mitch chose to end his own life. Movember was launched a year later. Where there is sadness, joy is never too far away and today I wanted to share with my Mo Bros & Sistas 13 lessons I’ve learned, 13 years after his passing.   I use the word joy because I have no doubts Movember founder, Adam Garone feels a great sense of that with the global movement he has created. Today, I share a similar joy with the work I do helping suicide loss survivors.   Men’s mental health as we know can be swept under the rug. And like Movember, I am on a mission to help change that for those that become lost in the dark, or who have lost a precious life to suicide.   Here is what I have learnt as a suicide loss survivor:   Acceptance comes when there is an inner readiness. When I gave up the mental resistance I was ready to accept my life in the present. Here I could listen to the truth within me. Suffering became a teacher, but I had to be ready. Not everyone is ready under the circumstances. However if you are – strap in for change.   […]

PERSONAL SUFFERING, SPIRITUAL BREAKTHROUGH

Ekhart Tolle says that suffering creates the possibility of awakening. This is because when you suffer any major loss, like a death for example, there's a diminishment of one's sense of self.   This is exactly how I felt when I lost my brother to suicide. I felt helpless, smaller (even though I'm 6'2) and [...]

WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?

Every morning for quite some period of time (I can’t recall exactly how long to be honest) after my brother ended his life I’d wake up afraid. I was afraid that I’d never be my old self again. I was afraid that this loss would keep me in a dark blurry fog. I was afraid that my family may fall apart. I was afraid that I’d become consumed with the impact of my brother’s death and keep bashing my head against the wall looking for answers. I was afraid that I didn’t care much about anything. My new mantra of “I don’t care”, I was afraid would become my signature line that would slip off the tongue as my response to anything. Like a darkness without a light, a sadness without a joy and a loss without a reward – being afraid ultimately became a calm and composed confidence. But it only came with the power of love and the capacity to explore what my grief was telling me. With all the distractions in the world and all the conditioning you carry with you, it’s easy to forget in these times of personal need who walks alongside you in this life. I was afraid that I’d never overcome the guilt. I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid that this loss would dictate the future of my life in such a way that felt meaningless and empty. But most of all I was afraid that I’d never have the courage to look deep within myself and listen to the voice that told me there was something to learn from this. That’s what I was afraid of. […]

THE 9 KEYS TO HOPE & RESILIENCY AFTER SUICIDE LOSS

You’re a different person now. You see things differently. You’re struggling and longing for your life to change. You wish things were different. Sometimes you think that being stuck in the comfort of your pain is safer than addressing it. Addressing the pain involves more pain, you might think. Moving towards that change you deep down wish for involves growth. But growth takes effort, courage and surrender. And right now you don’t want to grow, perhaps? What hope is left for me now? How can I be happy again after he/she left us like that? Your grief has an intelligence. Let it tell you know it knows. Vomit it all up, don’t wretch. Open the latch and let the dam spill and spill. Sometimes when all the tears are cried there is no room for anything else except a smile and laughter. True. There is a type of comfort in pain that becomes addictive. It is easier to push what begs to rise up within you and bury it in a corner. Yet that festering pain that you choose to ignore or find solace in will only serve to perpetuate the dis-ease within your heart and mind. The following 9 Keys to Hope & Happiness After Suicide Loss also comes down to balancing your emotions. […]