Sit down, tell me what happened…
“Oh, I wish I just listened to my gut and trusted my decisions. That way I wouldn’t have ended up in this mess.”
“I hate my job. I’m stressed and can’t stand the environment. I mean the pay’s pretty good, but fuck I hate it. Makes me feel like shit most of the time, to be honest.”
“What I really want to do is work in sports marketing. I wake up everyday knowing that’s what I should do. The problem is I don’t know where to start. What if I fail?”
“I’ve put on about 10kg this year. My energy is low and my moods are shocking. I don’t think I’ve ever dealt properly with the loss of my Mum, five years ago. All this stuff is coming up but I’m afraid to face it.”
Does this sound like your year?
Whatever you’ve got going on in your life, you have to pay attention to what is and isn’t working. That’s if you care about your life, which I hope you do.
The longer you leave what’s eating at you, the stronger its momentum to keep you stuck. No brilliant revelation there, yet so many of us lack courage to honor the life we’ve been given. We wander through it, ticking boxes as to what we think we should be doing based upon society, school, parents and culture.
We become sheep and in doing so lose the feeling of what it’s like to be in charge of our own destiny. Easy to do, especially in big cities where we compare ourselves to everyone else and then judge ourselves for not being where “Johnny Big House” is in his life.
FREE TIP: Chase your dreams based off your Truth, not “Johnny Big House’s.” There’s only one of you in this world – you owe it to yourself to do what makes you happy. You do that and you’ll make others happy in the process.
Seem natural, right? It is. However, unnatural thinking and feeling has become natural. That’s an issue and a crippling one for many.
So what else happens?
Instead we choose to stay in a funk, hoping and wishing things will magically shift on their own. If 2016 was a shit year for you – do you want to take that energy and make 2017 a repeat of that?
Of course you don’t. So what do you need to do?
Wake up and get real.
You need to be willing first and foremost. Sound simple? Yes, it’s very simple – yet so hard for many of us to do because of the rubble of conditioning we have buried ourselves under. And some of us are weighed down by these stories, beliefs and behaviors more than others.
All the wanting and wishing of things to change is a waste of time. Your willingness is your secret weapon.
Willing to be real with yourself. Willing to take action – internally and externally. Willing to see things differently, that to date has limited your ability to enjoy the life you want.
Sometimes at the end of year we make these grand declarations and come out firing on all cylinders to start the new year, only to fall in a heap a month in. Don’t put that type of pressure on yourself.
Give yourself time. That is, the next 12-18 months. Small incremental steps, no frantic action packed to-do-lists that are unrealistic. Pace yourself. These changes you want and need are to sustain you for the long haul in a positive way. The expectation of zero to hero in a month or two will overwhelm you. Trust the process and enjoy it, all of it – whatever comes your way.
Forget about what you should or ought to be doing. Focus on what you want to be doing based upon what feeds you joy. Make life decisions from that perspective. Swim downstream with your current of joy and inspiration – park the rest at the door because you don’t need it.
The following is a great process I like to do with clients and it revolves around your death. Yes, you died yesterday. No more living. You’re tapped out and the lights are off. That was it.
You cool with that? Regrets? Wish you didn’t worry about stuff? Come along on a little ride with me…
Close your eyes and picture you died yesterday. How it happened, who was there, the circumstances – all of it. Imagine it as vividly as possible and being real for you. You are gone and it’s all over..
Now answer the following questions…
- What was your biggest regret?
- Who did you want to say I love you to?
- What do you wish you completed before you died?
- What were you most afraid of? And if you weren’t would it have made any difference?
- What was the most important thing in your life?
- Was there anything in your life you worried about that didn’t matter in the end?
- Was there anything you needed to say to someone but didn’t?
- What am I most glad I did in my life – the best decision I made?
- What were my favorite 3 memories and why?
- What fed my spirit? What did I love doing that I didn’t do enough of? Why didn’t you make those things the center of your life?
- Knowing you could have lived anywhere on Earth – where would you live?
- What will people remember me for?
- if I could choose – what legacy would I have liked to have left behind?
- What would be on my bucket list?
- What didn’t I give myself permission to go after?
- What advice would you give to the living, especially your kids?
- Looking back on your life – what is the meaning of life?
- Given one more shot – what would you do differently?
- What would you have the courage to do that you didn’t have the courage to do before?
Now imagine for a couple of minutes that a guardian angle or some spirit comes to you and lets you know you’re going to get another shot at life. You have another chance – another crack to live your life your way – feeding your spirit what it yearns for.
Imagine coming back to life as you open your eyes. How do you feel? What did you see?
There isn’t a minute to waste. You either choose to make changes in your life or you don’t.
Just know you have no one else to blame if you’re stuck and unhappy. It’s not about anyone else and what they did to you – the ball is always in your court and up to you to fix it.
If 2016 was a shit year – I say good to that. Because now we have something to work with if you are willing…if you are willing.
I hope 2017 is a winner for you!