THE GIFT IN GRIEF

As a survivor of suicide within a family, I know all about grief. This post is dedicated to those who have encountered such a tragic loss, suicide or not and to give them my own perspective. I will say, the affects of grief and pain experienced are different for each individual and the degree to which that suffering is felt also differs. After almost 13 years since my brother (Mitch) committed suicide, it’s only been in the past 12-18 months that I can see clearly now. And this is going to come as a rude shock for many of you reading this, but my brother’s suicide was the greatest gift I have ever received. Yup.   I have been asked over the years – “how did you cope?” and “do you ever recover?”. Then of course there are frightened comments such as – “I’d crumble if that happened to me”. Of course, there is a crumbling to an extent, a pretty intense one at that. One that does change you I think, but not always in the debilitating way that you might think. As for recovery – does that fully happen? Not completely. That’s a whole other post I’ll investigate down the track. It’s a juicy subject that needs plenty of pages!   Nothing can prepare you for the overwhelming fear that steamrolls you after suicide, which leaves you completely empty. With the emptiness comes isolation – sometimes from friends and families and sometimes from yourself. I mustn’t forget the big ones too – guilt, blame, shame, anger and a sadness that I’m not sure how to put into words. In the beginning, you’re trapped in this bubble of trauma and internal chaos and if you’re not careful – you can stay there for a very, very long time. However, this post isn’t about the importance of mourning. I will be writing plenty about the survival of suicide in greater detail in the weeks to come.   […]